Stories

Dear Zuzu,

I was in the midst of a panic attack yesterday and someone very kind said to me "So, what's the story you are telling yourself about this event?"

I was a little surprised by this and took a step back to consider the story I was telling myself... "Well," I responded, "I guess I'm telling myself the story that this event means I'll never be able to have children and this will make things difficult with my relationships because I will obsess too much about it so all my friends and family will get sick of me obsessing, and so, I'll lose everything for the rest of my life and then I'll die, childless and alone."

Then, the same someone said "Ok, that is certainly an option." (I give her great credit for not laughing at my ridiculous response.) She continued, "Now tell me, what is the reality-based story of this event?"
This question surprised me even more and I got my head and my heart involved in evaluating my 'reality'.
"The reality is," I responded, "B and I are surrounded by supportive people and this event, though tricky, is not catastrophic or life-ending. We're going to make it work and we will later look back on this time with gratitude for those who helped us through."

Isn't it weird how the simplest question can turn a story from unbearable to loving? I'm grateful to that someone for teaching me this question trick and thought I'd share it with you.

Love,

Mommy

PS - This question trick is applicable in other arenas, like work relationships and self-talk. How cool is that?